Anniversary/Interrupting Fan Celluloid- True Lies (1994)

Hello, I’m Simon.  I enjoy danger, fast cars and the ladies.  My motto is “Fear Is Not An Option.”  However, my world changed when Helen Tasker was in a D.C. Chinese restaurant.  Behind those librarian classes, I knew that there was more than meets the eye.  She held an important suitcase that contained secrets or so I told her.  Easy there, killer?

Who the hell are you?  I’m Gibs but it doesn’t matter.  You’ve messed with the wrong housewife.  He’ll take Corvette but that’s the least of your worries.

Would Simon live to Lie Another Day?  Would Helen find who has a License to Kill? Would Gibs always be the guy in the Van?  Yes, Gibs would remain in the van.

True Lies was directed, adapted and co-produced by James Cameron (Terminator 2).  It remains One of His Best Films & Only True Action Comedy to date.  The cast was led by Arnold Schwarzenegger & Jamie Lee Curtis.  However, the biggest scene stealer was the late Bill Paxton as Simon the Car Salesman/Wannabe Spy.  The rest of the ensemble included Tia Carrere, Eliza Dushku & Tom Arnold.  It definitely stands up some 25 years later.   McG is talks to do a Disney + live action series sometime in the near future.

Holiday/Television Special Celluloid- The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

The Star Wars Holiday Special aired only once in 1978.  It centered around Chewbacca’s journey to make it back home for Life Day.  Han Solo was also along for the ride.  Would they make it to see Chewie’s family or get taken by the Empire?

This special was and still is considered so bad that Lucasfilms & Disney refuse to claim it.  Viewers have tried to search for it on Disney + and turn up goose eggs.  However, it’s not as bad as people have made it out to be.  It featured appearances by Art Carney, Bea Arthur & Harvey Korman.  The best aspect of the special was the Nelvana Limited cartoon introducing Boba Fett.  He was first scene briefly in A New Hope but would have a larger role in The Empire Strikes Back.

It speaks volumes that George Lucas wasn’t credited/involved and it looked as if much of the budget might’ve been spent on recreational drugs.  Also, regular CBS viewers were probably pissed that Wonder Woman & The Incredible Hulk were preempted for this one-shot.

Personally, it was enjoyable and less painful than a root canal.  In other words, Happy Life Day & May The Force Be With You!

Anniversary/Holiday Celluloid- Gremlins (1984)

An odd inventor stumbled into an antiquities shop in Chinatown.  He paid $200 & left with a Mogwai.  However, three rules came with ownership.  They went as follows:  Don’t Let It Get Wet, Don’t Expose It To Direct Sunlight & Don’t Feed It After Midnight.  The creature was a Christmas gift for his son.  They named him Gizmo.  What happened if he got wet or ate after midnight?

Gremlins was directed by Joe Dante (The Howling), written by Chris Columbus (The Goonies) & executive produced by Steven Spielberg.  The film worked as a dark, sci-fi/horror comedy and morality play.  It showcased man’s desire to change nature.  This theme would later be explored in Jurassic Park (based on Michael Crichton’s novel and directed by Steven Spielberg).  In 2014, Jurassic World would take place during Christmas as well.  Yet, it didn’t play up the holiday vibes the same way.  35 Years Later, we still love Gremlins & Mogwais almost as much as T-Rexs and Velociraptors.

When in doubt, don’t feed your pets after midnight.  Unless, you live in Las Vegas or Tokyo.  It’s difficult to find clocks there.